So I have just said yes to my dress of my dreams to marry the man of my dreams a year and a half from now, which has kind of prompted me to write a post about how we met. Also about what it was like dating as a single mum, and what it was like to date a single mum from kris’s point of view. This post is the first of 3 parts.
Before I met Kris I was not long out of a relationship with someone else, a very short relationship and I think I was just too scared to be on my own, that I settled. It was apparent very quickly that was never going to work out, and that ended after a night out…..anyways fast forward to meeting Kris.
I was browsing the wonderful world of online dating, not really sure of what or who I was looking for, if anything. I certainly knew I wasn’t looking for a relationship. Swiping left or right on tinder was usually accompanied by friends and a glass or four of wine! It was a laugh, like a catalogue of men to browse and most likely scrutinise! Too tall, too short, he’s posing with a girl, oh I know him, he has a wife! Jeeze there’s my ex! So it was never really taken seriously.
I met Kris on a site called pof. A free online dating site, as I was not up for paying to use the catalogue lol. POF was worse, I’d get countless messages from sleazy men sending me photos of things I did not want to see! I mean why would you feel the need to send naked picture of yourself. No thank you! But in amongst the craziness of online dating, I met Kris.
I had this notification pop up on my account, I had been favourited. I went on and had a little browse of his profile. Cute, tall, dark hair, great smile, tattoo’d, yeah he was defiantly my type, so I hit the favourite button back. I didn’t really think too much about it, nothing usually comes of those things. The next morning I logged onto my account to see a message from him, with something really cheesy like, “you just made my night by favouriting me” haha he insists to this day he wasn’t cheesy, but he really was! We got chatting and we spoke every day for a good couple of weeks. Kris worked offshore, so we had arranged to meet up when he got back. He wasn’t long out of a relationship either, so we were both happy that we weren’t wanting anything serious, just a bit of fun, and a few dates.
So our first date came around, Ben was at his dads for the weekend, it was a bit awkward, I felt like I knew him after talking to him every day, and totally stalking his social media to ensure I knew he was who he said he was! But we had never met, so I didn’t know him at all. “Shall I shake your hand or kiss you on the cheek when we meet?” A line that I later found out he used on all the girls! Haha. A kiss on the cheek it was! He brought me flowers! Big tick ✔️ I couldn’t remember the last time anyone brought flowers for me, romance wasn’t dead! We spoke for hours, and had a bit of a kiss! He made me laugh, and gave me excited butterflies in my tummy, defiantly what I was looking for in terms of dating.
We pretty much saw each other every night while he was home that trip, when Ben went to bed, he’d come to mine and chill, watching tv, chatting and getting to know each other. When Ben was away to his dads we’d go out on dates and he’d stay over! I remember us lying in bed one morning, having a conversation with each other ensuring we were both on the same page, the friends with benefits one! Which I was, but I knew I was starting to fall for him, and he was for me too! I tried to look for faults to stop myself, but I couldn’t find any. There really wasn’t anything about him I disliked…might be a bit different now! Haha, so I thought, just go with it, your enjoying dating him, don’t think too much into it.
He went back offshore, and I missed him like mad, he’d phone me every other night, sometimes every night while away, so clearly I was more than a friend with benefits to him too! We had arranged to go away for the night in Glasgow when he came back. Something to look forward too! I couldn’t wait until he came home. By this point my family and friends knew all about him too, but no one had met him yet and certainly not Ben. If there was one thing I knew, it was regardless of how our relationship was to go, I wasn’t introducing Ben until I was 100% certain he wasn’t going to fuck us over, and even when I would introduce him, it would be as my fiend to start with.
He was home! And our night away to Glasgow is one I will never forget. For reasons of which I can’t disclose on here! Haha, but it was also the first night he told me he loved me! Wow, LOVE! yup so we aren’t just friends with benefits then are we! He was drunk so I wasn’t sure if I believed him so I didn’t say it back, even though I was totally screaming in my head I love you too, while jumping up and down! When we woke in the morning, he said it again, ok he’s sober now, it must be true. I said it back. We are in love! I was so incredibly happy! The happiest I had been in a very long time. I’d also like to point out that we dropped the L bomb and we weren’t even officially boyfriend,girlfriend yet, and that wasn’t to happen for another few weeks!
We’d continue to see each other in the same manner for a few months before he met Ben! This was challenging at times, as all of you parents out there know, that sometimes toddlers don’t sleep all night, and Ben was just under 3 when we started seeing each other, and didn’t sleep through the night properly until he was 3 and a half. I didn’t want him to meet Kris by chance I wanted it to be planned. All you parents out there also know what it’s like to be in new relationships and how passionate it is. There was one night I will never forget (and sorry mum, and any other family members reading this) me and Kris were, you know! And we hear this little knock on the living room door. (was safer in the living room as it was further away from Bens room, or so we thought!) I had never seen anyone jump so quickly and hide behind the chair clutching his clothes looking like he was a naughty teenager, who had just been caught by his girlfriends dad! Haha. Hilarious, but it must have been a struggle for kris. He was 24 when we met, so he could go out there and meet anyone, someone that didn’t have a kid that would interrupt the sex sessions! Someone who he could go and see whenever he wanted, and not have to come second to their child. I’m not really sure I could have done it, and I know that’s really hypocritical of me, but I’m not sure I would have been strong enough to date someone who already had a kid, and maybe that’s because I knew what baggage it can come with, or maybe I just didn’t want to come second to someone else! Who knows, I just knew it must have been hard on Kris, but he never complained about it, not once. It was one of the many reasons I realised that I wanted to introduce him to Ben.
I’d love to hear other single mums or previous single mums experiences while dating. I was lucky to not be in the dating game long, however it was never planned that way. My next blog post will be all about kris meeting Ben, and what challenges that brought and can continue bring at times. Please like and share my post if you enjoyed it x